Summer

As many of you probably know, I've been busy as of late.... I finally had my Japan side wedding June 9th, and after all the stress of planning and learning about how it's done here, I'm so happy with how it turned out. I wouldn't consider myself a 'princess' or someone who has had a dream wedding in mind. Doing the traditional Japanese style at a shrine was the best choice for us. It was a small affair and maybe skimpy compared to some weddings here, but it suited us and kept costs down. Here's some pictures if you'd like to take a peek. Wearing the giant kimono, robe, wig, and hat wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was hot (you'd be crazy to wear it in the summer) and constricting. It was well worth the look and pictures. If you want to see the 2 hour getting ready process, check out some of the pics here.

Now that my life's slowed down, I've been thinking about some things I want to do this summer. Without further ado, here's my summer to-do list:

• Spend a weekend at the beach swimming and barbecuing.
• Work on my sewing skills by making some small projects and work up to the level of making clothes
• Write and receive more mail. If you'd like to exchange letters/cards... I'm looking to go old school and find some good snail mail pen pals to write to.
• Get back in the habit of Japanese study, whether it be in the form of a textbook or reading/watching fun things in Japanese. Maybe I can find a good drama to become engrossed in.
• Find myself a good sport (i.e. mode of exercise) to enjoy through the heat and humidity
• Use the internet less. Less mindless surfing and more hobby time.
• Try salt on watermelon (upon my student's recommend)
• Go on a mini road trip and use my car's ETC for the first time (ETC is the automatic electronic toll collection system for the highways).
• Find myself the essential summer romance book and have a day at the park or beach reading.

I'll keep you updated on what I accomplish!

Cute clipart courtesy of Wanpug.com

Let's Catch Up

Wow, so much has happened that I don't know where to start. I've waited so long in updating my blog that my head is bursting with thoughts, yet I can't catch any of them to put down properly. I guess I'll start from the big one:

I got married, and I'm very happy.

Getting married legally in Japan is the most heartless process you'll ever find, though. Here's a rundown of what happens.
1. The couple goes to city hall. Fancy are clothes not needed and you'd probably look silly wearing them.
2. You ask to have the partner written in on the family register as husband/wife.
3. The city hall employee has you fill out some paperwork to make sure all the information is right, then inputs it into the computer.
4. Finished. You are officially married.
5. You can get an official document printed out that shows the change has been made as proof of the marriage, which looks nothing different than the document they give you across the hall that proves you paid your taxes.
6. No congratulations are said, but after this is done, you are free to have any sort of ceremony you'd like, with anyone officiating. You're only subject to the rules of the facility you choose to have your ceremony in then.

We got paperwork married on March 19, 2012. It was a normal day of work, and we walked into city hall in our street clothes. After (I) being slightly disappointed by the above system of events, we went out to eat. During spring vacation, we went back to Michigan and had a wonderful, low-key party. It was wonderful to see family and friends, wear a cute *blue* dress, and eat some delicious food and cake (which were my only requirements for a wedding party. I'm such a bridezilla). Coming back to Japan, I was happy to hear the news that I was going to be teaching at the same schools I had been teaching at (the Japanese school year is April to March, thus it was the end of the school year), so I had a sense of relief as we settled in and started our life together. We've got a traditional Japanese shrine ceremony coming up June 9th, then we are trying to squeeze a honeymoon in during winter vacation. On top of my regular schools, I have a Saturday English club I'll start teaching soon, rounding out which I'll expect to be a very busy year. Oh, and I getting a new car soon.
Let the good times roll!

(This is my favorite shot because it was one of the few we weren't posing for the camera.)

Dress rage comic

I've had dress montages at 3 different stores looking for something to potentially wear to my wedding party/reception (plans still not quite decided). Japan's trend is big poofy vibrant dresses, which are lovely. I tried a more traditional outfit in the form of a kimono too. No matter what I tried on, I kept running into the same problem, which I will now show in the form of a Rage Comic:

P.S. For those of my family and friends who are appalled that I covered my face, I have the bigger, unaltered pictures for you.

Planning a Wedding in Japan

UPDATE (5/2013) Since strangely this is my most popular and traffic driven post, I thought I'd polish it up a little.

First off, please check out the Japan Embassy website for official info.

Everyone in Japan actually “gets married” in their local city/municipal hall. After doing the appropriate paperwork, the couple has 2 witnesses sign the appropriate paperwork and takes it to their town’s city hall to have it registered. There’s no ring exchange or speeches, just a signing of paperwork. You’re officially man and wife after this, so any sort of ceremony is optional. To me, this seems like a great way to do things: no need to find an ordained person to marry you (or force someone you know to get ordained online). You could go low-key and simply go out to eat or design the crazy wedding of your dreams. Usually the actual day you apply at city hall and your ceremony don’t coincide, leaving the couple to determine what day to actually celebrate their anniversary.

In a chiefly Buddhist Japan, the 2 most popular wedding options are a Shinto shrine ceremony or a Christian church wedding.

The Christian wedding was picked up from the West. There are churches dotted across Japan that are only wedding venues, not actual places of worship. Japan picked up the Western traditions and adopted them to make their own: big white dresses, ring ceremonies, priests, hymns and organ music… Just because you aren’t Christian doesn't mean you can’t have a wedding like one! Receptions too look very Western: everyone gathered for a meal with speeches and various activities. The wedding venue is essentially your wedding planner: they rent the outfits, the venue, make the food, decorate, and help plan the events. Many Japanese couples opt for a Western style cake cutting. Another popular activity is for the couple to light the candles on the guest tables and their own.

The shrine ceremony is traditional Japanese style. The clothes include kimono, robes, and a heavy wig and hood for the bride. Shrine priests wave a bamboo branch, chant, and cleansing and blessing the couple. The pair read a Japanese version of vows together from a piece of paper. It isn't quite the same as vows; it is more of a proclamation of marriage. Another popular tradition includes the couple and their family sharing sips of sake to seal their families together. Western traditions sneak in here also: you can opt for a ring exchange. The shrine could be an actual sacred place of worship, or it could be a shrine set up in a hotel. The Shinto ceremonies tend to be much more conservative and traditional, and often small in terms of guests compared to the Western style. 

The first thing a newly engaged couple needs to do (besides revel in their happiness of course!) is determine a time and place. After determining a time frame, finding a place is a bit more of a challenge. Wedding companies usually offer both Shinto ceremonies and Western weddings, so choosing a place based on the atmosphere you like is best. These companies have their own venues with photographers, cooks, stylists, coordinators. They even have their own boutiques full of dresses for you to rent for the day. When you choose a certain place to have your ceremony, you choose to make a wedding plan with them. You can’t bring in your own vendors, but you pick and choose what services you’d like with the company. This doesn’t leave much room for the do-it-yourself types and the ingenuous, but that’s why choosing the venue and company that will work toward your vision is important. My husband and I both wore our own clothes for the reception instead of renting the elaborate costumes, and we also organized and made our own gifts for guests and invitations. Adding many services means the expenses can add up. Japanese weddings are expensive affairs. In my opinion, there really isn’t a cheap wedding in Japan, except for choosing to forego a ceremony. Some of the cost is offset by the gifts of money from the guests (presents are very rarely given). Some Japanese avoid the expensive and time consuming process and go to Hawaii to marry/honeymoon on a beach, since the expenses are about the same.

Here's some basic info if you're interested in learning more:

Western Style Weddings in Japan

Japan-Guide's info on Shinto Ceremonies